This Sunday message comes from something I learned in my church music group. This weekend, I have the honor of singing with a special church choir I auditioned for a few months ago called "Chords of Faith". We'll be performing at the Festival of the Nativity. Last night we had an excellent practice in preparation for it, and something interesting happened that I'd like to share with you.
When we practiced the songs, it was clear that we were getting all of the notes right - but the conductors were still a little displeased. It sounded like we were going through the motions, and with no emotion. We agreed; we were so focused on getting the notes right that we forgot to sing with convention. We were able to refocused, we stopped trying to get notes right, and we started singing like we believed it. The difference was incredible, and we all saw the vision of how we should perform this weekend.
As I think about that experience, I can't help but wonder what other aspects of my life need the same fine tuning. Am I just going to church, or is there a purpose for me going to church. Anybody can dress up, drive to a chapel and sit for three hours, right? But what are we doing to make going to church an experience that makes a difference in our life.
If you're a boss, who do you give a promotion to; someone who just shows up, does his job and goes home ... or someone who you believe is going to offer something special to improve your department or company? Maybe I'm only "expected" to fix bugs in the software ... but is that where I stop, or can I dig deeper and really find solutions to help my clients? Anybody can give birth to a child, but what does it mean to be a real mother or father ... whatever it is, I'm sure it's more than just providing food and shelter?
In the LDS Church, we always say that you need to "magnify your calling", but I think it takes much more effort to do so. After learning a song, it doesn't take much more effort to sing it with feeling - in our choir's case, it was a simple reminder and decision to do. So whenever your caught going through the motions, think about something small you can do to refocus and make your music more beautiful ... whatever your music happens to be.
I am a fortunate man. I have a wonderful wife, wonderful kids, great job, and I have a testimony of the gospel. But as fortunate as I am, my family and I have not had the perfect life. As many of you have, we've gone through some hard times - negative economy has affected, too. Along with that, we're in a constant battle of trials from other people - even from those that we believed were our friends. And I hate to even say this ... I find it interesting that most of our grief has to do with fellow church members.
With that in mind, I've been thinking a lot about Matthew 7:15-23 that talks about wolves in sheep's clothing. It initially refers to false prophets, but upon further reading you find that this applies to anyone that portrays themselves as righteous but has other motives. The ones that preach for money are easy to spot; but there are many other wolves to watch out for that I feel are much worse. I think anyone who justifies not being nice to people in the name of magnifying their church calling can be classified as a wolf. Or someone that only starts being nice to you because they want something, or when you're no longer useful they stop talking to you. Or parents that treat their children lovingly in public, but ugly and cruel in private.
I wish I could provide specific examples, it would make the point I'm trying to make much clearer; but I believe it would be inappropriate for this post. If you want those examples, send me an e-mail. But what I will say is that I believe that a wolf is anyone that places anything in priority above any person, and the ones that are in sheep's clothing are those that do so in the name of doing the Lord's work - which for me means anyone in church. I believe this is the meaning of verses 22 & 23. Christ's love is unconditional; and if we're going to return to Him, we have to be like Him. And there will be many church members that will be surprised in the end how far from the Lord's will they really were.
I've learned again this week that the ends don't justify the means. Heavenly Father won't care that you conducted the best church choir, paid the most tithing, taught the best Sunday School class, baptized the most converts on your mission, or anything of the sort. The Lord's gonna want to know how you treated those around you and if you were there for them, especially your family. I'll end with the words of President Uchtdorf that sums it up best:
"Brethren, when we stand before the Lord to be judged, will He look upon the positions we have held in the world or even in the Church? Do you suppose that titles we have had other than "husband", "father", or "priesthood holder" will mean much to Him? Do you think He will care how packed our schedule was or how many important meetings we attended? Do you suppose that our success in filling our days with appointments will serve as an excuse for failure to spend time with our wife and family?
"The Lord judges so very differently from the way we do. He is pleased with the noble servant, not with the self-serving noble."
So keep an eye out for those wolves ... and don't become one, either.
Tonight I was grateful for our family getting together for scripture study. We've been reading in Jeremiah, and a verse we read caught my eye, warning us not have an "evil heart". So I asked the kids what they thought an "evil heart" meant. They gave me good answers about having evil intentions, wanting to cause harm, and being a bad person. Those were my first thoughts, as well; but a second thought made me extend my definition a bit, and I was reminded of this scripture: "woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil".
So I asked another question - can you think of anything that is not good or evil? We then had a lengthy discussion about how anything that is not good is in fact evil. You may not be the ring leader of a terrible act; but if you're standing there allowing bad to happen, that's not good ... therefore, it is also evil. I've come to the conclusion that the size of a transgression does not determine if it's evil or not; all you need to know is whether it's of God - which is anything that persuades us to do good to others. The obvious opposite of that is anything that persuades us to do bad things; the "not so obvious" is anything that persuades us not to do good.
Here's an extreme example for you ... what about spending hours of wasting time on the Internet? You're not hurting anyone, but yourself; but it certainly don't mean any harm. But is it evil? Again, we have to ask ourselves if it's good to waste time, or if it's something that persuades you to do good. I think the answer is no, because it prevents us for doing good. I believe idleness is a major obstacle that the adversary uses for evil. If we're not careful, we may even justify it as being a "good thing" - when it really isn't. TV and the Internet would want you to think so; in fact, they convince us that we can't live without it. During our scripture study, my wife called it "glossed evil" - evil that gets glossed over (or overlooked) as insignificant.
A common phrase is that "idle hands are the devil's tools." It is time for us to re-evaluate the activities we take part of and how they shape our heart; particularly those that keep us idle. I encourage us all to fill our lives with goodness wherever and however we can, so that our hearts do not become evil.
Yesterday was my wife's birthday. She is now the same age as I am. How old is that (do you ask?) I say ... how dare you! Anyway, at the end of the day I asked how her birthday was, and I got an answer I wasn't expecting. Tracey said it was just like any other day. I responded by arguing that "it wasn't just like any other day" at first, but then the thought occurred to me that maybe she was correct.
It's great to celebrate the day you were born and be grateful to live another year; the question is whether or not it serves as a source for true happiness. Maybe at first when we're babies, even to the age of 21 (when we're legal!) or 25 (when our auto insurance rates drop - that's a great day!) But I'm inclined to believe that there are better things that lead to true happiness other than turning 38 years old (oops!)
My son Leighton enjoys baking, so I asked him if he'd bake a cake for his mother. He asked me "why ... mom doesn't even like cake." Yes, she's a weirdo that doesn't enjoy sweets like the rest of the entire world. I then explained to him that it doesn't matter, and that the point of baking her a cake is for her to "feel special". Her happiness is not the chance to "eat cake", but instead was knowing that her son baked a cake especially for her. Like clockwork, she did not eat any of the cake - but the smile of joy was unmistakable.
Last week, I spent the week in Minneapolis for the first time. Before we returned to the airport for our trip home, we decided to visit the "Mall of America" - the largest mall in the USA. A mall with a roller coaster? and an aquarium with 50+ sharks? That's balla!! What was even more interesting than that was looking at the people in the mall. A fellow consultant that was with me commented how most of the people there were frowning and looked very unhappy. Another consultant said that's probably why they're at the mall, to fill the void they have in their lives. It was great reminder to me where the source of my happiness really comes from. From my wife, my family, and my friends (including my fellow Magenicons).
I've heard it said best when a friend said "People are much more important than things!" If you ever find yourself depressed or unhappy, it's time to take a look at the relationships you have with the people around you - especially your family and friends. You could be pushing away the people that love you the most. Or maybe you're just surrounded by the wrong people, who "say" they're your friends but will not be there when the chips are down. Or maybe you're just feeling alone. I testify that you're never alone; our Heavenly Father and our elder brother Jesus are always there for us. And if we follow his example and communicate with him, he will lead us away from the things that only pacify us for a short time, and to the people that will give us joy in our lives forever.
For the first time in our lives, Tracey and I are raising a 16 year old - Leighton turned 16 on August 12th (two days after our 17th wedding anniversary.) As you know, being 16 years old means a lot of things. In Leighton's case, he's working for the first time (a internship with a graphic arts company), is eligible to drive when he's done with driver's ed, and he's also allowed to date girls (though he's yet to go on a date.) Not to mention that in 2 years, he'll be in college ... incredible!
And as of today, it means that he now holds the office of Priest in the Aaronic Priesthood - which is expected in the LDS Church for all worthy 16 year old young men. He is the first to be a Priest in the Van Dyke family in 22 years - the last time being when my brother Sebastian and I were ordained that office when we turned 16. Yes, that means I'm 38, but nevermind that!
As our children get older, I find myself wanting them to build more character. After all, the character they build now will be the foundation they use as adults. So today I'm grateful for the opportunities afforded to our children that help them to build character, even when they don't want anything to do with it. Programs like scouting, the youth program in our church, school sports, and being surrounded with good role models and good kids, all help to shape their lives - their character. Because let's face it, if it were up to them, most kids would never choose to do these things on their own; that's why they have parents.
It's our responsibility to encourage them to choose the right, to challenge themselves to be better, and face their fears. In our house, it means we have to tell some of our kids to get off the computer and read a book, or drag them to a church dance so they can be social, or remind them to respond with "yes, sir" to an adult, or to strive for an "A" instead of being satisfied with a "B". But when they complain or rebel, sometimes it's so easy to just quit and let them suffer. But as I watched my son have a good time at the church dance last night (the one that never wants to go), and as I heard from my kids how they enjoyed the youth program tonight, and as I saw my kids enjoying each other's company ... I was reminded that persistence does pay off, and that God does hear and answer our prayers regarding your children.
We can't quit now - they need us. Because here's the scary part ... if we don't teach them what it means to have character, then who's gonna teach them in our place? The world? The Internet? TV? Their friends? It's possible, I guess ... but I wouldn't bet on it. You shouldn't either. So what if they complain - you know they'll thank you for it when they grow up.
Tracey and I went out on a double date with some longtime friends from college that we happen to live about 15 minutes away from. We went out to dinner at O Charley's and then went back to their house and watched the movie "Star Dust" in their home theater room in their basement. Great movie - if you're a "The Princess Bride" fan (which I am), you'll love it.
After the movie, our friend talked about how jealous she was of "return missionaries" and how most of them come back with this amazing spiritual growth. We talked about how important it was for husbands to have gone on a mission, so that spiritual growth can be a part of their family forever. As we talked, we were all so grateful to have this blessing on our lives. However, it made me ask myself 1) why was that the case, and 2) if it's possible to have this spiritual growth without serving a mission. Having met lots of amazing people with deep spirituality who joined the church as adults (having missed an opportunity to serve a mission), I would have to say the answer to question #2 is "absolutely".
I believe the key is the answer to question #1. My formula is this: Learning + Service = Real Spiritual Growth.
As a missionary, we were on a schedule of studying every morning: personal and companion study for 2 hours. And then for the rest of the day, our job was to "serve"! So with the exception of those that simply don't try to do the right thing while they're out, you can help but to gain a greater testimony of the gospel. For me personally, I loved every moment of serving people and helping them come to Christ; and being a convert to the church, I learned a great deal. My mission has provided me with a sure foundation to build the rest of my life. The trick is to make sure that I continue to follow this formula now so that my wife and children can benefit from it, as well.
Think about it. If we're reading scriptures and going to church on Sundays to learn how to be like Jesus, what's the use if we're not serving anyone - especially since that's all Jesus ever did when He was on the earth. The act of "not going to church" in mind means that you're not giving of yourself for one reason or another, so you're not going to serve very well, either. And let's not forget the power of the adversary that puts thoughts in our minds that distract us from serving and make us think that there are more "critical" things to worry about other than serving each other - a problem that is easily resolved by daily scripture study.
"Faith without works is dead", and service is our vehicle to showing Heavenly Father that we have faith and understand our purpose in life. And continued learning helps us to perfect our service, and our charity towards others, and our character.
The lesson I taught to my 10 year old Primary class this week was based on a popular scripture in the Book of Mormon, Heleman 5: 12. It basically talks about building your life on "the rock of the Redeemer ... a sure foundation". The easiest way to illustrate this was to talk about building a house and ask them why they wouldn't build it on sand versus rock. I also had one of the kids recite the story of the "three little pigs", and we talked about why building a house with straw or sticks isn't acceptable. The answers to all of this inquiries were obvious.
But even though none of us would be foolish enough to want a house build on sand, many of us are content to build our lives on things similar to sand. If we'd be willing to spend the extra cash or put in the extra time for the house we build (or have built) be based on a "sure foundation" to withstand all types of weather, why is it that we sometimes don't do the same for our lives. Because it's too hard? Because it takes too much time? Maybe, but I don't think it's that simple. The problem is that the sands of life are fun and excitement, things that offer instant gratification and that are extremely distracting.
Trust me when I tell you ... this is all part of the adversary's plan. He makes the sands of life so enjoyable and so easy to get, doesn't he? It's fun now; but what's gonna happen when life gets hard? What happens when tragedy hits; will you have a knowledge of God's love and plan, or will the pain be too much? What happens when you lose your job; do you have a savings or did you spend it all on "fun stuff"? What happens when you are faced with a temptation; will you have to spiritual fortitude to resist, or will you say "it's just one time"? Are you going to be strong enough to hand it, or are you just gonna blame God or someone else for your problems?
I testify that regular scripture study, daily prayer, continued education, continued worship, strong dedication to your family, and (most important) following Christ's example are the things make up the rock that we should build our lives.
It was me and wife's turn to give talks in sacrament meeting this past Sunday at church. The topic we were given to speak on was "How to Give Earnest Prayers". I've known the mechanics of how to give a prayer for a while; I've been given prayers in public since I was in my teens (right around the time I joined the LDS Church.) But it's been a while since I've thought about making sure that my prayers are earnest.
It made me think back to the first time I started praying earnestly, and it was when I prayed really hard for someone else ... on my mission. I think about the families I taught the gospel to and how badly I wanted them to be baptized, and there was no doubt that prayer was crucial in our proselyting efforts. But this doesn't help you if you're not trying to save souls - how do you pray earnestly while you just trying to live?
I thought of my own parable. I compared praying to a modern day programmer ... like myself. With technology advancing so quickly, some may ask the question of how a developer is supposed to keep up with everything. The short answer is that we don't! And since we don't need to use everything all the time, we don't have to. We do the best we can to continue increasing our knowledge of programming concepts. Then, whenever we need more or get stuck, we turn to Google for answers. Once we find what we're looking for, we do our best to apply what we've learned. If we didn't, our jobs would be much, much harder than they are now.
I also believe that our lives can be much harder without constant communication with God. There's no possible way that we can learn all that He knows in this lifetime; and since each of our lives are different, we don't have to. I think we all do the best we can with what we have; but daily prayer to an all knowing Heavenly Father can give us the strength, courage, and knowledge we need to fill in the gaps.
That's my parable! And since everyone knows what Google is (even the kids), it went over pretty well with the congregation ... at least, that what my family and friends told me. It made sense to me anyway.
Being in the midst of the Information Age is tough, especially for someone like me that creates web applications for a living. It's great to have, but if (and when) it fails, will you be able to function without it? And if you allow it to, reliance on technology will make what used to be simple suddenly not so simple for the sake of using cool stuff. Where do you draw the line?
While I was in Philly, my cab driver spoke to me about his hatred for his hardly used GPS system in his car. He only uses it when absolutely necessary, due to his willingness to actually learn the streets of Philly for himself; otherwise, he'd be like lots of other cab drivers that would have no idea how to get to a side street if his GPS system were to malfunction. And though I must give that cab driver credit for his zeal, I would never discourage the use of technology to make life easier ... after all, it's what I do for a living. However, I think it would be ridiculous if you need a GPS to get to a street that's 2 miles away from your house, don't you?
At the same time, I can't (and will never) advocate to keep doing things the way they've always been done. I believe that technology (particularly the Internet) can be a great source of good in our lives; but where do you draw the line? In these times, I think it always good to follow after those that set a good example for you, like your church. My Church (the LDS Church) has embraced the Internet with full force with everything from scriptures, to reading our church magazines dating back to 1971, to providing me my entire lesson manual for the Sunday School I teach ... all online. Our newly ordained President of the Church even has his own website!
In light of these thoughts, I decided that there had to be a better way for a geek like me to improve my daily scripture reading. A short Google search helped me to find a site to do just that ... ReadTheScriptures.com. After setting up my free account and creating a reading schedule, I now get a chapter sent to my e-mail inbox every morning. Once I read my chapter, I can click a button from my e-mail message which updates my reading schedule online. It even has a way to mark scriptures from the site (which I haven't figured out how to do yet) and has a online journal for me to use, as well.
This has proved to be a great way to use the Internet for good in my life instead of a time waster. I am now encouraged to find other sites that will do the same for other aspects of my life that need improving. The Internet is truly powerful - but to not use it in a responsible way that add beneficial value to our lives would be unfortunate. Just because something's cool doesn't automatically mean that it's valuable. So there's the line ... does what you do on the Internet (or how you use it) improve your way of life, or stop your progress as an individual. I hope that this will be a question that all of us will ask ourselves with every site we visit moving forward, and that we'll seek out those sites that will support the good values that we seek to have in our lives.
As you may or may not know, I always cook on Sunday. I've been cooking on Sundays for the past 5 years or so. Today was extra special, because we also had our fulltime missionaries over for dinner, Sisters Becker and Halvastadt. We had Fettuccine Alfredo with Meatballs, salad, watermelons, and french bread. We also had cinnamon rolls and vanilla ice cream for dinner. As usual, it was delicious (if I do say so myself.)
During the message that Sister Becker presented to us, her companion Sister Halvastadt said something interesting about doing member missionary work. She said that the main thing to remember is what you're really sharing when you share the gospel ... and that's you. If you're living the gospel, then that's who your family, friends, and neighbors need to see. Before they even find out about your religion, it's important that they get to know you as a person and like what they see.
When I think back to when me and my brother Sebastian were fellowshipped to the gospel by our high school buddy and his family, we bonded with them before we even knew what church they belonged to. Not only were we invited to play on the church basketball team, but several times we were invited to their home for dinner and to other church and family activities. After that, introducing us to the missionaries and their church was much easier. And because we respected them and loved them, they earned our trust - and the decision to join was clear.
There are so many people all around us that we could do the same thing with; how unfortunate it would be if we let these chances to change lives pass us by due to fear. I think a lot of people's fear are based on being afraid to share what we believe; we need to leave that to our capable fulltime missionaries. To be effective member missionaries, we just need to be us and trust that the Lord will prompt us from there.
It must be the Van Dyke family show-cast at our church. After my oldest Leighton was asked to give a talk on Father's Day last week, my second oldest son was asked to give a talk this week. Coleman shared his experience at Boy Scout camp. Though he's been on week long campouts with his troop in the past, this was his first official BSA sponsored scout camp. And though he's 5 requirements away from his First Class rank, he's an gym rat like me, working out with the football over the summer, and has moaned about scouting in the past.
Having been a scoutmaster in Virginia (Richmond) before moving back to Atlanta, I was anxious to see if he would have a good time. Well, when I went to him Friday night at the scout show, he asked to stay until morning - which is what I hoped for (having brought my sleeping bag just in case.) However, I was sure that he wanted to stay in order to hang with his friends one more night - which I was more than OK with. After hearing him speak on Sunday, apparently there were more reasons.
While Coleman did mentioned being grateful for the opportunity to get to know his church peers and feeling more like a part of the group after moving here, I was pleased to hear about how the experience helped him to grow spiritually. One particular experience that touched him was listening to a 97 year old scouter speak at the scout show. He was very frail, very gray, and was barely able to stand with his walking stick (much less walk); but when he spoke, he sounded like a roaring lion and more than conveyed his love for this country and for the scouting movement in America. Coleman was reflective as he spoke about that old scouter. He sad he was grateful for his experience, and that it grew his testimony. It was from the heart; I know because he was able to share all of this without any notes. Quite impressive for an almost 14 year old.
Here are my takeaways from my son's talk. First of all, never give up encouraging your son to get involved with Scouting. When done correctly, it is proven to mold boys into men that you can be proud of. Secondly, there's a wide range of experiences that can increase one's testimony; and it's rare that they'll gain their testimony the same way as you. The important thing is to provide the youth you're responsible for (particularly your children) with as many opportunities to have a positive experience as you can. They don't always have to be church related; and since "all things are spiritual" anyway, anything positive can turn into a huge spiritual revelation.
I am happy for Coleman's experience at scout camp, and am hopeful that there will be many more like it for him. Two Sundays ... two great talks from my sons. My life is a blessing. Thank you, Heavenly Father.
Happy Father's Day! I had a wonderful day today. I got a great new office chair to work in at home as a gift, along with some wonderful Father's Day cards and a wonderful dinner prepared by my children. I also got to take a nap; and now I'm getting ready to watch Game 5 of the NBA Finals - right after I watch a special show (presented by my daughter!)
In church, my son Leighton was asked to speak in sacrament meeting today; his topic was "Honoring Thy Father and Thy Mother". He shared with us about how he tries to greet me with an enthusiastic "Hi, Dad!!" in order to make me happy when I come home - especially he didn't do his chores. The crowd laughed; I did, too. At the same time, it reminded me that my children do pay attention to me; I also learned that my kids (at least one of them) want to make me happy despite their weaknesses and short comings.
Question is ... do my children know that I love them? I'm sure it's hard when all we seem to focus on is what they're doing wrong. Not to say we're supposed to ignore what they do wrong, we wouldn't be good parents if we did that; but if it's all we do, there's no way they're gonna know that we love them. Some may argue that the reasoning for Leighton giving me the joyful "Hi, Dad!!" is an indication that I need to make adjustments in how I interact with my children ... and I would agree.
I want my children to know that I love them all very much. I want them to have the very best and to realize their full potential. No NBA Finals, TV show, website, or anything of my hobbies is more important than my love for my wife and my children. And I pray that my children will know that one day in their hearts, and greet me with a "Hi, Dad!!" that simply says they love me, too.
The lesson that I taught my 10 year old Sunday School class was about how we live in a world of opposites. For example, the opposite of light is dark. Healthy is the opposite of sick. Peace versus war. Life versus death. So on and so forth!
When it comes to character traits, these opposites decide whether we're conforming to God's will, or the adversary's will. Good versus bad. Love versus hate. Truth versus lie. Clean versus dirty. Right versus wrong.
Each of us have to look at ourselves and decide which side we're really on. There's no middle ground. If we desire to be on the Lord's side, we simply need to keep doing the things that are pleasing to God; and whatever in your life is not pleasing to God, find out the opposite & do that instead.
And how do you know what you doing is pleasing to God? By how you feel in your heart. Doing good deeds always leave you feeling satisfied, peaceful and gratefu. If you have feelings of guilt, it's time to do the opposite!